Monday, February 14, 2011

My Eve Has Yet To Come


The idea of getting into a relationship has never gotten to me. I don't know. Way back in high school and college, I've seen my friends eating with their proclaimed girlfriends in the canteen during break time or walking in the corridors holding hands. I've seen how happy they were spending time together. And I was really happy for them too. But I've never considered doing the same. That's their thing, not mine. It wasn't the only source of happiness for me. Was I ever envy? Honestly? No, I was never envy. I never had that feeling. It's just not my type. Yes, I have crushes but it's not worthy taking to the next level. I was a serious thinker ever since. I thought of relationship as a special thing that should only be shared with the right person. You heard it right. Imagine how kj (kill joy) I was. Sounds pathetic huh?
Everytime I go to school and observe my friends with their partners, I can see chemistry - something science can explain. They look good together. They enjoy each others company. They share the same liking. But something's missing. No matter how beautiful the picture appears to the eye, it's lacking something. This missing part of the puzzle is not part of the chemistry - it stretches beyond science. And I found that precious piece nowhere else but home. I saw it in my parents. Some days, my parents don't look good together. At times, they argue on things and disagree. But no matter how tough the situation seems, they stay together. They work things out. The radiance of their relationship never fades. It's as if there's an invisible bond keeping them together. I still have no idea about the entire context of marriage back then. I know for a fact that it takes a mature mind to contemplate on that serious matter but the partnership that my parents displayed has been the cornerstone of my innocent judgment about relationship since then. I said to myself, "that's exactly what I want to have!"
I've heard of breakup stories from my friends and I just don't like the idea of going through the same thing. They said it's part of growing up. I have to get into a relationship at an early age so I can experience the fullness of adolescence. I'll lose half of my life if I don't do this and that. I should go with the flow and follow the trend. I should collect and collect and select. I was like "what"? I just can't. I can't fake it. I don't feel that love they're talking about. Let alone I don't trust it's love they're referring to. What I have is plain admiration and I don't want to play with it. It may have seemed abnormal to them; but I felt very normal. I wasn't playing safe, I was just being honest to myself. Another kj attitude huh? Again, it's just not my type.
I never really understood the true meaning of love until I became a Christian. And I'm glad I was thinking that way I was thinking before. For the first time, the word infatuation made sense to me. I've learned that love is not just a matter of emotion, it is also a decision that we need to make. I've learned that love can make you feel everything's right, when in fact there's a lot of things wrong. I've learned that you have to appreciate your own wholeness and completeness first before you can share yourself to another person in genuine love. We can love because God loved us first (1 John 4:19).
Right relationship is built from right love. Right love comes from God. If the righteous waves are against the direction of your relationship, think again. It may be love but it can be wrong love. Don't let yourself be overpowered by emotion for it may only bring destruction. Be sensitive to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. God has already prepared the right one for us. I remembered once in our small group sessions in church, a brother used the picture of creation to describe when God will bring to you your rightful partner. God gave Eve to Adam when the Eden was already furnished. In the same way, God will give the man a woman to be his partner when his life is already furnished. God wants the man to be prepared before getting into a serious relationship.
I never felt sorry for not entering into any serious relationship before. On the contrary, I'm actually proud of not giving in to persuasions. I don't feel like I missed anything along the way. I feel whole and complete. I haven't found the right one for me just yet but I'll be patiently waiting. I'm faithful that God has prepared the finest for me. In the mean time, I know that I need to furnish my life further so it will be pleasing when the right one arrives. I believe that God will send me the woman that I've been praying for in His rightful time. Someone who shares the same aspiration and the same devotion that I have. His promise never fails. I know my Eve has yet to come. And when she does, I'll make sure I'll be her first and last Adam.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Why The Son?


Last week, I stumbled across a forum site and I was caught by this certain thread where people discuss and share their views on the right way to salvation. As I expected, someone declared Jesus is the way! And as I scrolled down the page, I spotted an unexpected post which then affirmed the realization that I simply can't respond to all the divine mysteries. Someone asked, "Why would God give His son Jesus instead of Himself to save us? In this world, more often than not, a Father would definitely offer his own life in exchange of his dear son's. So why is that so?"... End of thread. No one dared to challenge the post.
Again, another query that I didn't see coming. A new test to my knowledge and understanding of the Word. I've searched my heart and reflected, praying that I may find an answer; but to no avail. I am secured about my faith and I wholeheartedly accepted Jesus as my way to salvation; but this question really made sense. Why the son? Why not the Father? And so I felt the enemy trying take the advantage of the situation and setup it's evil scheme on me. I knew that I need to seal that little hole in my faith immediately before my spirit gets contaminated.
I spent the weekend over at my friend's house - my ultimate ally in Christian crime. The place was messy as always but there's just a lot of wisdom to gain from the man; so the chaotic atmosphere was tolerable. And I was never disappointed.
I told him about this thing that bugged me for days. His response was simple yet it's just what I needed to hear. He said, "The point is what God can give". My mind digested the thought for a moment. And suddenly, it was a shot to the heart. Who are we to doubt the ways of the Lord? God allowed Jesus to pay for the price of our sins. Imagine how hard it is for a Father to sacrifice His only begotten son; but He did it anyway. You may be thinking that it would've been more credible if the Father gave Himself instead and spared His son; but what made Him do otherwise? The reason is You! That's what God is willing to offer in order for you to live. That's how worthy you are in the eyes of the Lord. That's how much God loves you. That's how great His desire is to reunite with you.
A lot of people end up living miserable lives because they fail to acknowledge their worth. They are longing for affection, yearning for value and aching for importance. The world can't give you all these. For the world is imperfect. It will always fall short. Only God can offer you these things completely. Only God can fully satisfy the desires of your heart. He will never fall short. In God, you are worthy. You are valuable. You are important. You are as precious as the blood of His son.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A Good Harvest


It feels rewarding whenever I get the chance to share my thoughts with people concerning God. I admit that my knowledge is not enough and I am yet to learn a lot to answer all their questions in life. But I trust that the sincerity of my heart gives me the credibility to impart the wisdom I've gained through the years I've walked with Him.
I've always thought that I don't have the talent to speak of His words. I've struggled with myself - I wasn't trained to preach, that's just not my line. I was overwhelmed by fear and doubt about my capabilities - what should I say? how should I respond? will they believe me? And all this time, I was missing the point.
I came to realize it was never about me. I'm not boasting about myself here. I don't take pride in what I know that others don't. I'm sharing God. It's all about Him. And true enough, even I get surprised whenever I am challenged by conversations about God and life. The Word speaks of the truth, "for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." (Matthew 10:20). When you're full of the Holy Spirit, it just overflows. I myself am amazed how words came out of my lips impulsively. You may think you're not capable but our God is a God of wonders. If God can use a donkey to speak of the truth then why can't He use you?
It is worthy to continue growing and advancing in our knowledge of God. But everything will be in vain if we just keep it to ourselves. We should learn to halt for a moment and listen to the world. There's a lot of wandering souls seeking for truth. Didn't Jesus say “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9)? Let's not be selfish. Let down all your hesitations and learn to share God!
Some people will pay attention but don't expect everyone to listen. Some will believe, others will question. But don't ever lose courage. Don't ever despise small beginnings. Keep on planting the seeds and pray for a good harvest. And before you know it, you just won another soul. Another prodigal child was reunited with the Father. One of those seeds you planted has just grown into a fine resilient tree.